You were just saving yourself when you hide it

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. 

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung 

and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, 

you must give your heart to 

no one, 

not even to an animal. 

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; 

avoid all entanglements; 

lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. 

But in that casket- 

 safe, 

dark, 

motionless, 

airless

--

it will change. 

It will not be broken; 

 it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

-C.S. Lewis