You Hold Me Now.

Now, I’m officially done with my freshmen year. And honestly, I don’t feel like I conquered it. Or like I came out knowing exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Actually, I came out more confused. With mediocre grades, which kills me. More than it should. I’ve finally started to work for something in my life, and it just seems like it wasn’t worth it. But you know what-in all of this, God is holding me. His hope never fades. My hopes, my dreams here, may fade, but His-they never do. He’s holding me, through all of this. He knows exactly what He has for me. And He’s holding me now-in this struggle, in this shame, in the fear of the future. He’s here. And He promises so much. And I want to give that even through this for my heart to give God all the glory, without Him I couldn’t have done it. I couldn’t have gained one iota of knowledge. And it may hurt, to see that maybe what I thought was my calling wasn’t. But you know what the most beautiful thing about God is-that what He has for us is so much greater so much better. Everything and more. In Him there’s hope, a hope that never fades. He holds me through all of this. He holds us in our suffering, in our failures, in everything we once thought so important, in everything. In everything my heart will give Him the glory He deserves. I surrender. Help my unsurrender.