Laying it down. That's what I'm doing. Like a wise person told me recently, just lay it down at His feet. Even if I can't feel God around me anymore-even if I can't see His love. He is there-I'm just realizing my deep unsettling need for Him. I've been in college for two months and it's starting to take its toll on me. Finally. At the same time this new feeling has awakened in me-to do what I came here to do. To prove that I'm more than what I look, more than what I say. I am more-than everyone thinks I am. Because even though it's nice to have your parents know and believe that you can do better, I don't want to just slide by. That's not giving praise and honor to God. He gave me my intelligence, he gave me my talents-might as well put them to good use. It's like stuffing away all these colors of fall-and staying in constant fall. Without winter-spring never comes. I'm stuck in fall, and I've been stuck in fall thinking I could skip right into spring. But nevertheless I'm approaching winter. And winter, is just not something I know. So, yes. I am afraid. But I'm trusting. In His Perfect Love-that casts out my fear. So I may not do what everyone else here does. That doesn't make me right. Like Rob Bell said, "There may be right in their 'wrongness', and there may be wrong in my 'rightness'". But I'm trusting-praying for braveness, surrendering. And laying it all down at the feet of the One who rescued me.
Jolene-Ray LaMontagne
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