Faithful and True

Two weeks from now all of
this will be over, and
nostalgia's cool air has come
calling before its time.
Can we truly overcome the deep darkness within us and around us?
Is certainty even possible?
Can we complete the unattainable task of defeating this darkness?
The darkness of uncertainty, of emotions, of the future.
Aren't we all fighting the darkness? The large cloud of loneliness that thrusts us desperately upon each other? The overpowering grey of insecurities? The blinding faith?
More and more it seems to me that it is the simple things that are able to diminish the darkness around and within.
I just hope that it is these leaps unto the unknown that will bring healing in their own small way. Perhaps, in acceptance of relationships, of changed plans, perhaps in the sorrowful surrender of a tired faithless soul, there is resolution.

Quite some time

That's all.

Flying

There's something so beautiful about needing something or someone.
There's something so beautiful about selflessness and true friendship.
True vulnerability is beautiful.
There's so much beauty.
There's so much God, as painful and hard that it might be for me to admit; God seems to be everywhere  in selflessness, in needing, and in vulnerability.
It's in the relationships that could not be any more normal and yet their very foundation seems to be metaphysical.
It's in hearts that have connected, that have understood beyond all reason beyond anything anyone could predict. That is God to me.
I am searching for those moments where God becomes as real as the air filling my lungs.
It's in that unspoken understanding, in compassion that seems so human. It's almost as if our hearts call out and tell us, that this, right here, this is what I was made for.
I recently watched the movie The Intouchables and I have not seen such an amazing depiction of life and selflessness as I did in that movie.
It is love that transcends culture, prejudices, time and words.
I think we must live for those moments, for it seems to me that through moments like those that we catch a glimpse of what life can be, of what we can be.
We catch a glimpse of faith and hope.

You know no love or hate.

O dear human,
How frail are your bones, how thin is your skin.
How small are your cries, how loud is your pretension.
How minute your importance, how great is your pride.
How big your ideas, how small is your kindness.
How wonderful is your creativity, how deep is your desire.
How powerful is your lust, how consuming your need of love.
How dear are your dreams, how beautiful your heart.
How painful is your violence, how eternal your forgiveness.
O dear human,
Come away to the lost,
become awake to the darkness around you.
Become aware of your limbs,
become aghast at your abilities.
This darkness, this evil--though overpowering makes you uniquely human.
O dear human,
your perceptiveness to the light and its grandioseness is embedded in your very spine.
Your propensity to return to pain,
to what hurts the most, makes you weaker and stronger.
Human you are a juxtaposition.
A species lost and yet strangely winning.
With one hand you tie your own noose
with the other you reach out to the hungry.
O dear human,
Who are you really?
Who can comprehend you still?
You would kill yourself in the name of love
and be found amidst the rummage of its fire the next day.
The same love that destroys you,
sets you apart.
O human,
your soul is so unique.
It loves unrequitedly and with a depth so incomprehensible.
Dear human,
How free you are in a cage of bones.
How loving and kind in the midst of war.

Well, you know me with that ancient gaze.

It might be simple as faith.
It might be simple as hearing his struggle with a faithful God.
It might be simple as looking into the eyes of a lover scorned and seeing her look to heaven with resiliency and grace.
It might be in the saddened eyes of the loneliest soul you have ever seen.
In these and many more, there was hope. Hope that the divine, that God held it all. Hope that God knew something. There was trust in Him, wounded and bruised trust, but it was there.
Maybe it really is all around me.
I had the opportunity to attend a large gathering of God-lovers (otherwise known as a conference) last weekend. And to my surprise, I was not so much moved by the messages but by the people. I was moved by the people around me that were clearly hurting and wounded and bruised. Gazing into their eyes you could see all this pain, but right next to this pain there was a slight glimmer of hope in their eyes. It was so powerful, pain and hope in complete juxtaposition to each other, struggling and giving with each other.
For so long I have walked by sight, but I have seen faith like never before. My own hope seemed so forlorn and now I am not so sure anymore.


Roo Panes-Know Me Well
http://soundcloud.com/crcmusic/roo-panes-know-me-well

Like the last breath I will breathe, like home to me.

Did I see a flash of gold, of that precious ticket that you hold?
Did I see your white teeth pass me by and never gave them a chance?
I think the knife hurt us all.
Dream.Real.Dream.Real
reality. No, the fortune did not say anything about this.
Let
it
go
Let
  this
          go.
Stay.
                  Stay with me, these
are the last minutes I have inside the eye of this storm.
        Is this real, not real?
Are we barely living, or living barely?
                      Your question of what
we
had.
No chance at all.
I saw your golden ticket and off you go.
Tell the mad hatter I say hello,
tell the queen I wanted you.
Tell
     your
            lovers
     that
           you
                 will
always be
w
   r
    a
      p
    p
  e
d
          r  o
       a      u
            d n
this
fraud.
Wasting such a perfect age,
                                   Such a let-
               



                                                          down.

A monologue to God

I turn twenty-one this weekend and I don't know if you'll be in the neighborhood or not, but if you are anywhere near 1902 and you could spare a few minutes for a talk, or a walk, or a hug, or a feeling or a breeze, my schedule is wide open.
It's okay if you can't, I get it.Times are hard, things are changing.
Did you see that the leaves have finally begun to fall?
I sat out in my porch today and I witnessed one of my lasts, for who knows if and when I'll ever be here again.
Anyways, let me know if you have time to spare. I will also welcome you if you come unannounced.
Even if you don't come I'll be looking out to the horizon;
My only hope is that we haven’t abandoned each other entirely.