Today in church we learned about God and how involved He is with us. Day in and day out. He spoke of how in American culture, you just gravitate towards a deistic point of view. I would argue, that it happens in many cultures, and not one person is exempt. Especially when you go through routine-filled days, in and out. Doing similar if not the same things every day, every week, every month, every year-all your life. You cease to see a difference, and you are caught up by this routine. And you don't see God as a personal, completely involved in your life-God. You cease to believe in miracles. You begin to see more things as impossible. Graduating, passing the LSATS, MCATS, getting into Law School, getting a job, getting into Med School, restoring a marriage, restoring your own life, ceasing to let the anger control you. Things you now see as unreachable, unattainable.
He also spoke on how we begin to see God as behind this fence, that we can't get to and He won't approach us.
But how wrong have we been, how wrong have I been. All the things I see as impossible are more than possible to Him! The pastor told a story of how when he was young, the pastor of his church gave the people of his congregation silk roses for them to take home and to put somewhere they can see them. That rose would symbolize an impossible prayer to God, and when God answered the prayer they would bring it back to the church and put it into this designated place for them. He told of how day by day, bit by bit, year by year the place started to be filled with roses. What a marvelous God we have! He is so faithful. And still we doubt. I doubt every day, about my future. My dreams. Of going to Africa. I question, and it's as if I'm almost waiting for Him to snatch those dreams from me. It's almost as if I'm expecting it. But how could I believe that God would give me this passion for something just to snatch it away? And still I do. So, I will say it again-how wrong have I been! My heart just aches from my lack of trust, from my fear of my Savior. Our Savior. He conquered death for us. That's the greatest act of love anyone could ever give. So I will continue to pray. For trust. For love. So that I don't fear this God, who only wants good things for me. For belief. In His power. He is the God of the impossibles, because He did the impossible. He died and rose again.
I believe. O, help my unbelief. I surrender.
