Cuando más Te busco, más Te encuentro. Cuando más Te encuentro, más Te AMO.

This perfect love that drives out fear. Many times, I've been scared. Scared of His love. Scared of the surrender of what He will do. I'm scared He will take my dreams away.
I'm learning to trust in His unfailing perfect love that drives out this fear and to
surrender my dreams-of becoming a doctor, of going to Africa, of being a missionary-to Him. Whatever it is He wants for my life. He knows best. Even if the prospect of what's next shakes my foundations-scares me to the core. I surrender.
ALL I AM TO HIM, FOREVER.
He will lead me. And His perfect Love has driven out my fears.
I melt in His peace.

So let them fall down-there's freedom waiting in the sound. When you let your walls fall to the ground.

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it
to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with
hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock
it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in
that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will
change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable,
impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable
-C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis was a very intelligent man, and here he is talking to those afraid to love, afraid to get hurt-afraid to risk for love. I don't think he was solely referring to the love between two people, I think he was also referring to Love between God and Yourself.
You see, there is something downright frightening about love. The thought that someone will come in and break through the walls that you have been putting up and see everything that's inside-the dirt, the sin, the bad-and the risk that as that person does that they could turn around at any minute and say, "No. That's not for me," that thought shakes the foundation of your very being. And even if that person decides to stay and accept all you've got-what if you can't deal with it anymore? What if later on they realize that it really wasn't for them? All these what ifs creep into you're thoughts and your left just saying no. No to love.And this is exactly what C.S. Lewis is saying-he's voicing those fears he's telling you that in order for you not to fear and not be vulnerable just seal your heart up. Just close it off to everything. That it will be safe, and in that dark place it will become hardened, irredeemable. Irredeemable. And so he ends, simply: To love is to be vulnerable.
In first John 4:18-it speaks of that fear. That fear of love that we have. It says:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.

This is where I think C.S. Lewis was referring to God. There is nothing to fear. Because God's love-it's unconditional. It's everlasting. It is not depending on what you have behind those walls-because He has already seen past those walls. He saw where you were wounded, He saw where you fear you will be hurt. He saw you build those walls up, and He wept. He wept for you-and Your broken heart. His love is like the wind-you can't see it but you can feel it. It wraps around You. Wraps around those walls-and is slowly whispering to you to bring them down. To go brick by brick and tear the wall down. He is the God who sees You. His Love is everlasting. When you open your heart to His love-His love that won't hurt you, that will only heal you. That perfect love. It's perfect. Nothing on earth compares with His love. No love. No one. His perfect love covers you-and it drives out your fear.
So there's two choices. Wrap your heart, keep it, hide it-and let it become irredeemable. Or come to the greatest Lover of all. And let HIS perfect love drive out your fear. Open your heart to love. To the REAL LOVE.

Oh Your LOVE is a symphony-all AROUND me. Running through Me.

On a side note-I'm beginning to dislike red backpacks and tall blond men.

Blessed are the pure in heart; for they will see God.
-Matthew 5:8

Purity. What does purity even look like in our lives? I feel like last week, purity-was a recurring theme. Something God wanted me to grasp and experience. Last week at Evensong, all the songs had something to do with purity, and it was emphasized when the leader said, "Remember, purity is not something you have-it's something only God can give you." But what is this purity that will allow us to see God?
As I looked up the definition for purity-I came across with a lot of "freedom from impurity, freedom from guilt, abstinence, innocence, free from taint or pollution," and those are a few of the many definitions. But the word freedom-just surprised me. Freedom is what we all yearn from. How could purity free us?

Purity is not about being sinless before God so you can see Him-but rather it is about desiring to be pure in your thoughts, words and actions. And we can only be made pure through God-through the great Purifier. It's about having those thoughts, word and actions adhere to God. It's about having God be your One and Only-the core of your very being and desire. Then God draws near to you.-and as you set your eyes on Him you are made pure.
I don't know about you, but I just want to be pure. So wholly and perfectly pure for my savior. To please Him. To remove thoughts/hungers for the things I shouldn't hunger and instead desire for God and clearing and cleaning my thoughts and setting Him as the Only thing worth living and having. Because without Him I am truly nothing and I have nothing. But in Him I am made whole-I am made pure, no matter what I've done or who I have become. He can take my thoughts, my mind, my actions and set it up on Him-and reveal Himself to me.
We waste so much of our time thinking of things we shouldn't, doing things we shouldn't-but the beauty of our Savior is that he doesn't condemn us. He has His arms wide open inviting us to take a sip of The Purity we all very much desire. It's not easy. It's hard toil, giving up the things of this world-saying no to our flesh, it takes dedication. But His everlasting Love is there to help us along the way. To carry us out of the pit of sin and into His loving arms where we are made pure through Him.

Psalms 51:9-10

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.